Happy Valentine’s Day!

The winner of the “Name the Title” contest and a free trip to Turkey in August is:

The Idiot and the Odyssey II

Myth, Madness and Magic on the Mediterranean

submitted by Gloria De Luca, VP Communications at Academic Arrangements Abroad, a New York-based tour operator for non-profit organizations.

I want to thank everyone involved in the “Name the Title” contest for entering over 400 poignant, literary, amusing, alliterative, hyphenated, self-help, long, short and sometimes slightly nonsensical title suggestions. Despite numerous objective/blind assessments by a variety of publishing professionals, it was very difficult to select a single winner.

Below, as a salute to the upcoming Academy Awards, are notable titles in several different categories. There will, fortunately, be no winners or prizes.

The eleven most-cited runners up were:

The Idiot and the Odyssey: A Mediterranean Love Affair

The Idiot and the Odyssey II: Romancing the Mediterranean

The Idiot and the Odyssey: All Roads Lead to Troy

The Idiot and the Odyssey: MedTrekking to Troy

The Idiot and the Odyssey: The Gods Must Still Be Crazy

The Idiot and the Odyssey: Ever Walking the Mediterranean

The Idiot and the Odyssey II: The Continuing Saga of the Man, the Myth and the Mediterranean

The Idiot and the Odyssey: A Mediterranean Mystery

The Idiot and the Odyssey: A MedTrekking Sequel

Walking The Mediterranean: A Wise Man’s Odyssey

Walking the Entire Mediterranean: One Idiot’s Odyssey

The ten most applauded title twists were:

The Idiot and the Odd-yssey

The Idiot and the Oddity: Myth, Madness and Magic on the Mediterranean

The Iliad and the Odd Essay: Trekking the Mediterranean

The Iliad and the Oddball

The Iliad and the Oddest Me: Still Walking the Mediterranean

The Iliad and The Idiocy: The Next Part

The Iliad and the Audacity: More Wit, Wisdom and MedTrek Madness from the Idiot

The Idiot and the Trojan Trudge (And Other Tales)

The Idiotic MedTrekker: A Mad Mediterranean Odyssey

Still An Idiot and the Odyssey: Walking the Mediterranean

The ten most popular tickling titles were:

If At First You Don’t Succeed Troy Troy Again: Walking the Mediterranean Part Deux

The Idiot and the Odyssey Part Deux: The Thrill of Victory and the Agony of My Feet

The Idiot and the Odyssey: Are We There Yet?

Moron Does The Med — Part II

Hera Just Not Into You

The Idiot and the Odyssey: Pardon Me, Myth

2011: Pace Odyssey (Ten Years After)

What’s The Hurry?

I Dig Really Big Horses

I Feel Bad About My Feet

The thirteen most pondered, and ponderous, philosophical titles were:

The Idiot, The Odyssey, The Mediterranean and The Question….Why?

The Idiot and the Odyssey: Mythic Answers to the Eternal Question: In Search of What?

The Idiot and the Odyssey: Why Walking All the Way Around the Mediterranean May Make Sense

The Idiot and the Odyssey: Transcendentaling Along The Mediterranean

Idiosocrates Stroll

The Idiot and the Odyssey: It’s All (Or, Well, Mostly) Greek to Me

The Idiot and the Art of Mediterranean Musing

My Achilles Heel: The Idiot’s Travails with Life, Lovers, and Troy

On the Road To Wisdom Mediterranean Style

Shoe Leather and Enlightenment: Walking the Mediterranean

All That I know, I Learned From the Idiot

The Idiot and the Odyssey: It’s the Water

Give Up Your Day Job And Walk Around The Mediterranean

The seven best self-help titles were:

Walking the Mediterranean for Idiots

The Idiot’s Guide to an Odyssey

Searching for Inner Peace: My Trek around the Mediterranean

Ili-YUM (of course, a cookbook)

The Idiot and the Odyssey Part II: No Plane, No Boat, No Car, No Problem

The Orgasm and the Odyssey: Making It Like Odysseus

The Idiot and the Odyssey: Secrets and Guidelines to Walking the Mediterranean

Ten talented tributes to Homer were:

Hipster in Homerland: More Walking

The Idiot and the Odyssey: Homer-ward Bound

Homer Bound: Walking With An Idiot From Rome To Troy

The Idiot and the Horse: Tracing the Trojans and other Mediterranean Delights

With Lotus-Eaters and Ghosts: Walking the Mediterranean, Vol. 2

The Idiot and Ulysses Walk The Mediterranean

A Walk Back in Time: On the Trail of Odysseus

The Idiot and the Odyssey: Odysseus Comes Home

Continuing My Search For Odysseus: The Idiot And his Odyssey On The Mediterranean

The Idiot and the Odyssey Part II: One More Time for Ancient Times’ Sake

The Idiot and the Odyssey: The Rock and the Hard Place: Between Scylla and Charybdis

Ten trendy titles that included a variation of the word “walk” were:

Walking the Mediterranean: One Step At A Time

The Idiot and Ulysses Walk The Mediterranean

The Idiot and the Odyssey: A Quixotic Walks the Mediterranean

Still an Idiot: The Odd of Seeing, Walking and Living Anciently

The Mediterranean Walkabout

On to Troy … Let’s Walk!

My Walk Around The Mediterranean: The Rest Of The Story

The Odyssey and the Idiot: Walking Backwards

The Invalid and the Odyssey: Walking with Odysseus

The Idiot and the Odyssey: Walk Stroll Pray

The two longest titles were:

The Idiot and the Odyssey II: Offbeat Ramblings and Ongoing Musings on the Road Not Taken, Wanderlust (and other inexplicable urges), and Choosing the Right T-shirt.

The True Account of a High Testosterone Trojan Busting Idiot’s Mad MedTrek from the Apex of Eros to the Mound of Venus, in Five Parts

The two shortest titles were:

Turkey Walk

What’s the Hurry?

The most alliterative title was easily:

A Troy Story: The Idiot and the Odyssey Traipses On: Trace the Trekking Trojan’s Trying Truly Triumphant Trudge to Troy

The most-hyphenated title was:

The Secret to Avoiding a Life of Zing-Zang-Whop-Whiz-Zip-Whap-Bap-Bang!

The best total series titles were:

Vol 1 The Idiot and the Odyssey: Walking the Mediterranean

Vol 2 The Idiot and the Odyssey: Tracking the Mediterranean

Vol 3 The Idiot and the Odyssey: Trodding the Mediterranean

Vol 4 The Idiot and the Odyssey: Tramping the Mediterranean

Vol 5 The Idiot and the Odyssey: Trudging the Mediterranean

Thanks again to everyone who submitted a title and those who helped me select the winner.

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Want to win an expense-paid one-week trip to Turkey in late August?

Take a look at the working table of contents for the sequel to “The Idiot and the Odyssey: Walking the Mediterranean,” come up with a catchy title for The Idiot’s next book, list your submission(s) in the comment section of the “Follow The Idiot” blog and learn if you’ve won on Valentine’s Day.

If your title is selected you’ll be invited to accompany author Joel Stratte-McClure on his MedTrek into Troy, where he’ll conclude the second installment of his journey around the world’s largest inland sea.

The outing, which will begin with an August 30 swim across the Hellespont, will most definitely be in state-of-the-art MedTrek mode (economy class airfare, cheapo seaside squats, local resto meals/picnics and a 30something-kilometer hike each day) and give you the thrill and flavor of what it’s like to walk around the Mediterranean. A doctor’s certificate may be required to certify the winner’s physical condition and a cash prize of $100 will be offered in lieu of the MedTrek trip.

There are currently over 300 separate title suggestions and a number of them are better than the author’s two working titles.

Incidentally, there will be 24 chapters in the sequel (like the 24 books in both “The Iliad” and “The Odyssey” by Homer) and, although everything is subject to change, the book will end in Troy where “The Iliad” took place and “The Odyssey” began.

Working Table Of Contents

Preface

Gypsies Take Me Down

Part One

MedTrekking On Italy’s Ulysses Riviera

1. Meeting Adorable Athena in Rome

2. Mountaintop Chat With Circe

3. Stumbling Into Pompeii, Singing Sirens and Thieving Gypsies

4. Getting a Kick Out of the Toe of Italy’s Boot

Part Two

Strolling Around Sicily and Finding Kalypso

5. Taking A Breath of Aeolian Winds

6. Seeking A Blinded Cyclops

7. Making Out in Malta

8. Mounting Etna and Pursuing the Sun God

Part Three

Switching Gears in Magna Grecia

9. The Gods Send Me Island Hopping

10. Finding Homer in Chios

11. Liberating Lesbos and Limnos

12. Hanging Out With Odysseus on Ithaca

13. Searching For Nausikaa in Corfu

Part Four

Getting Greeced With The Gods

14. Acclimating With Athena in Athens

15. Greeting Zeus on Mount Olympus

16. Monking Around on Mount Athos

17. Prancing About The Peloponnese

18. Ode On A Cretian Urn

Part Five

Talking Turkey and the Trojan War

19. All Roads Lead to Troy

20. MedTrekking Beyond The Sea

21. Swimming Across the Dardanelles

22. Homeward Bound

23. Getting SideTrekked

24. The Trojan Truth

What are the author’s working titles until the “Name That Title And Win A MedTrekking Trip To Troy” contest winner is announced?

Title One

“The Idiot and the Odyssey: Still Walking the Mediterranean”

Why?

This title reinforces the “Idiot” brand name, takes advantage of the generally-regarded-as-funny pun on “The Iliad and the Odyssey,” includes the keywords “walking” and “Mediterranean,” and indicates a continuation of the saga that began with “The Idiot and the Odyssey: Walking the Mediterranean.”

Title Two

“The Iliad and the Oddity: Walking the Mediterranean”

Why?

“That’s a brilliant chiasm *,” enthused Vince Tomasso, the member of the Classics Department at Stanford University who read a draft of “The Idiot and the Odyssey” to catch any historical or literary errors.

* According to Wikipedia the chiastic literary structure was used in epic poetry (Odyssey and Iliad) and ancient texts including the Torah and the Bible. For additional information go to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chiastic_structure

Simply list your suggested title(s) in the “Follow The Idiot” comment section and wait for the winning (and losing) selection(s) to be announced on Valentine’s Day. The author may consult agents, publishers, authors and gods to determine the winning submission but his decision is final.

Text and Photos: Joel Stratte-McClure