The Idiot said goodbye to one gigantic Trojan horse — the one used in the film “Troy” with Brad Pitt that was shot in Malta and Mexico — on the beachfront promenade in Canakkale, Turkey.
Then he MedTrekked 32-kilometers along the mirror-smooth Hellespont, through the cultivated countryside and across the Scamander River to arrive at the famed city of Troy.
When The Idiot entered Troy (http://goo.gl/pMNz4), the purported site of the Trojan War, he immediately encountered another Trojan horse.
But, more importantly, The Idiot also found the goddess Athena who gave him the lowdown on a variety of issues relating to Troy and the Trojan War.
Athena once again appeared in the guise of a tour guide (as she did in Rome at the end of “The Idiot and the Odyssey: Walking the Mediterranean” some 4,157 kilometers ago) named Mustafa Askin (www.thetroyguide.com). And Mustafa, a Turk and contemporary Trojan, contended in turn that he might be a reincarnation of Hector, the son of King Priam of Troy who was killed by Achilles around 1184 BC.
Naturally these human guide/goddess/warrior composites come up with all sorts of surprises.
Although the details of a lengthy conversation under a Trojan fig tree will be more fully revealed in the “The Idiot and the Odyssey II: Myth, Madness and Magic on the Mediterranean,” Askin/Athena/Hector delivered some interesting buzz to The Idiot, who spent a few days in a spartan 30-euro-a-night room (#7, which is named after Priam) at the Hisarlik Hotel at the entrance to Troy.
First of all, Mustafa/Athena/Hector claimed that the legendary Helen of Troy was “the first real WMD, or Woman of Mass Destruction” and contended that “in reality there’s no way that the Greeks and Trojans, or anyone else, would fight for ten years over a woman and the idea of a single ongoing ten-year siege is impossible. They were fighting sporadically for control of the Hellespont and trade.”
Then Mustafa/Athena/Hector told The Idiot that there’s no truth to the Trojan Horse ruse.
“There was definitely a Trojan horse but it was a religious symbol, not wartime trickery,” he said as they watched kids playing in the horse house at Troy. “Do you really think the Trojans were so incompetent that they’d let a gigantic wooden horse into town without searching it? They were better at border control than the TSA, the Transportation Security Administration.”
Mustafa/Athena/Hector, who was born in Troy and has been a multilingual guide for 32 years, continued with a barrage of other surprising suppositions as he took the Idiot through the ancient multilayered ruins and pointed out stone walls built at a slant 5,000 years ago to avoid earthquake damage.
“Every time I walk around Troy I imagine the Trojan War occurring in front of my eyes on the plain below,” he said. “The ‘Iliad’ is much more important than the ‘Odyssey.’ The ‘Odyssey’ is just an adventure book but the Iliad is war, tragedy, drama and life itself.”
At one point Mustafa/Athena/Hector spryly jumped/flew over a barrier and picked some figs for The Idiot to eat and, as a squirrel scurried by, calmly continued to reveal more sexy scoops.
“90 percent of Troy has still not been excavated and it’s possible that we haven’t seen anything yet,” he said. “I think the most exciting finds would be the graveyard of Homeric Troy and further proof that Troy was an important city – smaller than Babylon or Hattusa but bigger than Mycenae in Greece.”
Naturally Mustafa/Athena/Hector had some original thoughts about where Homer was really born, how Hector was really killed and what improvements could really make Troy a more impressive destination for the half million visitors who come here annually.
The Idiot, knowing for sure that behind this multiple personality was the wile and wisdom of the mentor guide and goddess Athena, patiently waited for an answer to his single question: “Now that I’m in Troy, where should I go and what should I do next?”
Text and Photos: Joel Stratte-McClure
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