The Idiot can’t walk long distances, which is why he didn’t MedTrek on the Mediterranean Sea in Egypt this spring, due to severe spinal stenosis (from the Greek word stenōsis, which means narrowing).

So what does he do when doctors tell him to stay in shape, clean up his act and get his affairs in order before surgery to remedy the ailment at the Stanford Medical Center on Thursday?

Think death masks, spinning, weight lifting, swimming, a haircut, a manicure and a sensible diet.

Although it’s perhaps a little dramatic and hopefully premature — and although most people in ancient Greece and Egypt didn’t have this done until they were verifiably dead — The Idiot had a life/death mask cast while having a facial last week.

The Idiot has a facial before getting a wax cast of his face that will be used to create his death mask (think Tutankhamen and Agamemnon) should things go south at Stanford.
(Photo: Tahnee Walker)

To avoid putting the death mask to use, he’s been following doctors’ orders to get exercise and stay in a semblance of good shape.

The Idiot kicked off Monday with a 5.a.m. spinning class at the Redding YMCA conducted by Silas Lyons, the editor of the daily Record Searchlight newspaper.
(Photo: Silas Lyons)

The Idiot grimaces during a speedy half-hour weight-lifting session to exercise his upper body.

Later in the day The Idiot worked out in the YMCA pool using a pull buoy and gently flipping turns to limit discomfort.

The Idiot also takes steps (though not many) to look and feel as well and healthy as possible to give himself a pre-op psychological boost.

The Idiot discusses the importance of a spiffy pre-op haircut at Mike’s old school barbershop in Redding, California.

Would anyone think of having surgery at the Stanford Medical Center without getting a mani/pedi? The Idiot thinks not.

To avoid gaining weight during seven months of comparative inactivity since he returned from his MedTrek down the coasts of Lebanon and Israel from Syria to Gaza in October, The Idiot attempts to watch his diet.

On Monday, three days before surgery, The Idiot prepared fillets of Dover sole on a bed of boiled spinach with virgin olive oil, pepper and organic hulled sunflower seeds.

Will any of this make any difference?

Watch this space.

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About Joel

Joel Stratte-McClure has been a global trekker since the 1970s. He lived in France for over 30 years, working as a journalist, before he turned his attention to a unique life-time-project of walking the shores of the Mediterranean. The first 4,401 kilometers are explored in his inspirational and entertaining first book "The Idiot and the Odyssey: Walking the Mediterranean." The next 4,401 kilometers are covered in the gods-filled sequel, "The Idiot and the Odyssey II: Myth, Madness and Magic on the Mediterranean,” published on Valentine's Day 2013. The last 4,401 kilometers will be discussed in the last book of the trilogy currently entitled "The Idiot and the Odyssey III: Alexander the Great Walks the Mediterranean."