Even The Idiot learns something new each time he visits Knossos, which Homer called “the chief city of King Minos, whom great Zeus took into his confidence every nine years.”
Today, after calmly strolling up the weathered cobblestones of the Royal Road, I picked up all sorts of delicious tidbits while I traipsed around the ancient site for the first time since 1984. That’s really no surprise because this spot was home to Neolithic man long before the first royal palace was built in 2000 BC and the subsequent era of King Minos, the Minotaur and the Labyrinth got underway between 1700-1450 BC.
“Follow the cobblestone royal road,” I sang to myself as I entered Knossos.
Who knew, for example, that the origin of the word WOW came from the still-standing differently-colored jars, known as pithoi to the Greeks, that held Water, Oil and Wine?
WOW!
Who knew that this was not a cistern for water or a silo for grain but, according to many contemporary archeologists, was one of the world’s first urban garbage dumps and compost heaps?
Did the Minoans invent recycling?
Who knew that it’s possible to saunter into the throne room and sit for 16 seconds in the same place as King Minos?
The Idiot had the Minos touch.
Who knew that the Central Court in Knossos was actually the site of both sacred AND profane activities and rituals back in the day?
Besides learning new facts about Knossos I also had occasion to spread my own meager knowledge. I was especially pleased to tell a too-eager-to-take-photos French tour group that most of the frescoes at the Knossos site are reproductions.
A French group photographed fake frescoes until The Idiot spoke up.
Most of the French immediately lost interest in the fake frescoes after The Idiot intervened.
I also told two teen tourists from Shanghai that Knossos tourist shops are not selling real Minoan artifacts.
“This stuff is not all 3,500 years old,” The Idiot assured two Chinese visitors.
I picked up a bit more information during a tour of the Archeological Museum in downtown Heraklion.
For example, I now firmly believe (and I didn’t on Easter 27 years ago) that the snake goddess was the true sovereign figure of the Minoan pantheon and that snakes and cats are the true symbols of fertility.
Female goddesses with their snakes and felines.
And now I know why will I never again throw away the tusk of a wild boar.
A boar’s tusk helmet.
I also finally agree with Sir Arthur Evans, who began excavating Knossos over 100 years ago, that “The Parisienne” is the sexiest fresco found during the New Palace period when the population topped 50,000. Sir Arthur apparently named it that because of the “malicious charm of her expression.”
The Parisienne is the definite embodiment of “malicious charm.”
This was also the first time I studied the marble statue of Zeus, who is depicted as the Lord of the Underworld, with the three-headed hound Cerberus whose job was to guard Hades. What a treat!
Zeus hanging with Cerberus in Heraklion.
How was I able to so astutely gather all this information in just a few hours?
Because I wore the comme il faut faux military pants that are the de rigueur mode for Greek men.
The Idiot dresses like a Greek male to gather info at Knossos.
Looking like a native, instead of an American MedTrekker, enabled me to knock around Knossos and mingle with King Minos and Zeus without attracting any attention. And I promise that more “believe it or not” revelations will appear in “The Idiot and the Odyssey II: Myth, Magic and Madness on the Mediterranean” in 2012.
Text and Photos: Joel Stratte-McClure
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