The Idiot isn’t completely stupid.

He finally took a short break from his arduous and agonizing 8,403-kilometer MedTrek to leisurely and luxuriously sail on (instead of walk around) the Mediterranean Sea near the Greek island of Kos and Turkey’s Gulf of Gokova.

The Idiot was a grateful guest on a 38-foot Sunsail catamaran called “Sam” captained by Gordon Kling, an old crayfishing and journalist pal from Cape Town days in the early 1970s. The Canadian-born entrepreneurial (one South African magazine refers to him as Golden Kling) skipper motored and sailed the high-tech yacht to enticing places like Cleopatra’s Beach (the fine sand is said to have been imported from the Egyptian desert for Cleo’s visit here @ http://bit.ly/k9qbq5), Amazon Creek, the English Harbor (where he sailed past a Copenhagen-like mermaid) and other exotically named coves and crannies.

There are at least three things to say about this mode of travel.

First, it’s a lot easier sailing than MedTrekking and, second, Odysseus would have made it home in a few weeks, instead of twenty years, if he could have relied on Sam’s array of instruments and gadgets, including a depth gauge, a wind speed monitor, a compass, multicolored ropes, sophisticated cleats, a refrigerator/freezer/oven, an electronically controlled anchor and even an autopilot.

Sailing is easier than MedTrekking.

Even The Idiot could sail “Sam.”

In addition, three undesperate South African housewives did all of the cooking and Tony Heard, who was editor of “The Cape Times” before spending 16 years working for the South African government after apartheid, and former diplomat Roland Darroll kept everyone educationally entertained.

Undesperate South African housewives Marie-Antoinette Darroll, Jane Porter and Anne Kling.

Formerly desperate journalists/editors Tony Heard and Gordon Kling.

Odysseus probably would have had some of the same adventures on the sea as The Idiot.

He would certainly have enjoyed some underwater diving, caught tuna and then bribed the chef at the Husnu Nun Yeri (it means “Husnu’s Place”) Fish House restaurant at Kormen Limani (http://bit.ly/irMJBB) to cook the catch on mesquite-like wood and serve it after a rainbow of mezes from the well-stocked sea and fertile earth. And he probably would have also taken shelter near Kara Ada island (http://bit.ly/moPq5j) to avoid an afternoon squall and storm.

Skipper Gordon Kling negotiating tuna-grilling deal.

The mountainous, unpathed and forested terrain on the 100-kilometer long and sometimes very narrow gulf in southwestern Turkey between the Bodrum and Datca peninsulas will definitely be difficult and time-consuming to MedTrek when The Idiot foots it here from Istanbul next year. Just seeing it from the sea made him happy that he’s ending his next book – “The Idiot and the Odyssey II: Myth, Madness and Magic on the Mediterranean” — in Troy after he swims across the Bosporus on August 30 and then takes a break for a few months.

Is the Turkish seaside meant for sailing rather than MedTrekking?

However, Skipper Kling and his wife Anne accompanied The Idiot on some trail testing and wound up in Datca where they met ace entrepreneur/fixer/agent/orchestrator Ahmet Ozturk.

They were immediately invited onto Ahmet’s gulet (http://bit.ly/kRYXJM) where The Idiot was asked to swim in a Datca-Simi race on September 1 (two days after swimming the Bosporus, Ahmet wanted The Idiot to fly down for a 20-kilometer swim to the tiny Greek island and participate in an event that salutes the “friendly” relationship between the two countries) and were basically given the keys to the city.

Ahmet also suggested that The Idiot sail around the Turkish coast on his gulet, at 1,500 euros a day, and/or buy his donkey.

The Fixer and the Idiot.

Ahmet’s donkey is The Idiot’s latest MedTrekking buddy.

The Idiot also established one of the more amusing goals of his upcoming MedTrek in Turkey, which is to out-Turk the Turks.

That’s because one persistent habit in Turkish restaurants, especially when they’re the only resto on one dock in Gulf of Gokova, is to serve hungry sailors many more mezes than they order to inflate the bill. The con is simple: the most handsome waiter approaches the most gullible looking South African housewife, flatters her and offers her “a gift, only for you.”

The extra meze that is immediately brought to the table is usually an irresistible succulent octopus in a seductive sauce that’s by far the most expensive item on the menu.

“This happens,” says Ahmet, “to anybody looking stupid enough to fall prey to the smooth Turkish multiple unordered meze con which is a genetic feature of all restaurant-owning Turks.”

“I don’t give anyone anything they didn’t order,” insisted Tahsin Yasyerli, who has run Husnu Nun Yeri for twenty-five years.

“I didn’t order anything he gave me,” said Marie-Antoinette Darroll, who lived in Italy for over a decade.

And so, as The Idiot picked up the bill (thereby conning himself), the con goes on until the MedTrek resumes in Turkey in mid-August and The Idiot tries to out-Turk the Turks.

Sailing into Bodrum to out-Turk the Turks.

Text: Joel Stratte-McClure

Photos: Joel Stratte-McClure and Jane Porter (1)

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About Joel

Joel Stratte-McClure has been a global trekker since the 1970s. He lived in France for over 30 years, working as a journalist, before he turned his attention to a unique life-time-project of walking the shores of the Mediterranean. The first 4,401 kilometers are explored in his inspirational and entertaining first book "The Idiot and the Odyssey: Walking the Mediterranean." The next 4,401 kilometers are covered in the gods-filled sequel, "The Idiot and the Odyssey II: Myth, Madness and Magic on the Mediterranean,” published on Valentine's Day 2013. The last 4,401 kilometers will be discussed in the last book of the trilogy currently entitled "The Idiot and the Odyssey III: Alexander the Great Walks the Mediterranean."