Idiot-ic T-shirts make MedTrekking fun and I wore dozens during the first 9,526 kilometers of my walk around the Mediterranean Sea. The provocative above-the-belt apparel even merited a brief mention in a chapter of “The Idiot and the Odyssey II: Myth, Madness and Magic on the Mediterranean.“
“Trust Me…I’m An Alcoholic.”
Here is an extract about the Idiot-ic Fashionista:
Fashion Marky is the stereotype of what a young Sicilian guy should be – gelled-back hair, gigantic sunglasses, spiffy white pants, brand names on every accessory and article of clothing, a few tats and, oddly, a pregnant and very normal looking partner.
I too, want to be part of the designer-name game and set out on today’s 38-kilometer MedTrek from chic Capo d’Orlando through sweet Acquedolci to sunset-on-the-seaside Caronia wearing my Trust Me…I’m an Alcoholic T-shirt.
This doesn’t only show off my brand consciousness but also illustrates how a multiplicity of meanings can be associated with just a few words. I try to explain to Fashion Marky, in my constantly improving Italian with a Sicilian twang, that the phrase Trust Me…I’m an Alcoholic can mean that “you can trust me because I drink a lot” or “I personally know that I have a problem with alcohol” or “I’m a drunk and anything I tell you is questionable.”
Fashion Marky, though his eyes are hidden by his shades and his hair is seemingly Botoxed to avoid the display of too much emotion, looks like he isn’t buying any of it. He refuses a trade when I suggest swapping my sweaty T for his brand new sweats. No one else makes an offer for my shirt during the day and, between us, I don’t think many people understand even one of its multiple meanings.
Like the number of pairs of shoes I’ve worn on the MedTrek, I have trouble remembering the wide variety of T-shirts I’ve sported. Friends keep giving me new ones with clever slogans to help differentiate me from the Italian fashionistas. One of my favorites, proffered by Gloria Ackley in Manhattan, says “SHHH” with a logo of the New York Public Library. Gloria also gave me one that reads “I AM A MAN,” which was a slogan popular during civil rights demonstrations in the 1960s, and another splendid Che Guevara shirt that she brought back from Cuba. Many other Ts are equally meaningful with slogans like “Raven Lunatic,” “Increase the Peace,” “Practice Non Violence” and “Adopt-A-Minefield” though some have confusing and somewhat meaningless phrases (to an Italian audience anyway) like “Sleestak,” who was the green humanoid on the 70s show Land of the Lost.
SHHHH!
“I Am A Man.”
“Raven Lunatic.”
“Increase The Peace.”
“Adopt-A-Minefield.”
“Sleestak.”
Almost all the shirts I wear on the MedTrek have either English or nonsensical logos – and all my baseball caps also have something written on them. This isn’t just because of my fastidious sense of fashion but also because it “announces” me – assisted by my brightly colored shorts – as a definite foreigner, which I think is to my benefit.
Colorful logo.
Nonsensical logo.
For the record, many of these shirts were part of the swag in goody bags that I got when I was covering the biz and writing a column in Hollywood. Tomorrow I’ll wear my favorite that says EVEN BIGGER GIGANTIC F**KING ROBOTS ARE COMING. That’ll wake ‘em up…..
“Even Bigger Giant F**king Robots Are Coming.”
Want more? Simply download the interactive and/or paperback versions of “The Idiot and the Odyssey II: Myth, Madness and Magic on the Mediterranean” @ http://followtheidiot.com/purchase or order your own Idiot-ic Ts @ http://www.cafepress.com/followtheidiot.
Partying shot.
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