“Get a good manicure and don’t speak French with an American accent.” — Baby Gaga, The Idiot’s six-year old granddaughter.

“Bring good walking shoes because there’s going to be major gridlock — and the price of Metro tickets is going to triple.” — Mary Deschamps, journalist.

“Once you arrive in Paris, watch out for instant immersion. You’ll soon be saying ‘Voila’ and ‘Oooh-la-la’ with Gallic panache.” — Carolyn Pfaff, Australian transplant.

“Paris is full of bicyclists who don’t know how to ride or obey traffic signals. Watch out because there will be carnage on the streets.” — Joel Stratte-McClure, author.

“I still haven’t received tickets to six events that I paid for over a year ago. I’m getting nervous but I’m telling everyone else to be patient.” Daniel Dozier, international investment consultant.

“Attention! Paris during the Olympics will be unbearable, impossible to park, move around, to do anything. nothing new then! — Margaret Kemp, food critic.

“To afford coming to Paris for the Olympics, people should decide to either sell their house or bring a sleeping bag. It’s going to be very expensive.” — Leslie Nelson Cressy,  children’s entertainment professional.

“Enjoy the Olympics and remember that the only marathon you should attempt involves pastries, not running!” — Samantha Dunnachie, business and marketing consultant.

“Consider taking the free guided Olympics swim in the Seine River that The Idiot is offering in the shadow of Notre-Dame at noon on July 31, his 76th birthday.” — The Idiot, who first swam in the Seine for a magazine cover story in 1976.

“Forget a swim in the Seine. Come by my new shop (The Cabinet at 19 rue Bièvre, 75005 Paris) and buy some bottled Seine water (€20).” — Vanessa Graal, author and blogger  (aka Messy Nessy @ MessyNessyChic.com).

And for Americans only:
“Check your passport before you travel! Make sure it’s valid for at least three months and while you’re at it, enroll in the Smart Traveler Enrollment Program (STEP). It allows the Embassy to contact you in case there’s an emergency.
And when you’re not enjoying the Games, cheering on Team USA, you’ll want to try some of the great food and drink and visit the museums and galleries and stroll the parks and see the landmarks and …there’s so much to do, so take one day at a time and remember to hydrate! Paris in the summer sizzles.
Don’t be intimidated by the French language or Parisians. Just remember what you learned in kindergarten: say please (s’il vous plait: “see-voo-play”) and thank you (merci: “mercy”) and, if you never ask for ketchup, you’ll be fine.”— Michael Turner, Counselor for Cultural Affairs, US Embassy Paris.