The Idiot, besides frequently washing his hands and taking short walks in his neighborhood, has a few tips about how he’s making self-isolation tolerable, productive and enjoyable.

Start the day by reading and meditating for half an hour — or six hours.

Make a big production about morning coffee — and create a business plan to open a coffee shop when this is all over.

Make the bed in your guest room like you’re a cleaning associate in a six-star hotel.

Just in case things really go south, get all of your Buddhas in a row.

Since you’re no longer allowed in the YMCA because of your age, set up a personal exercise station.

Because it’s Saint Patrick’s Day, read only books with green covers.

Make your work station as inviting as possible.

Straighten all of your wall hangings.

Eat lots of fresh food.

Help others.

Call friends or strangers, with or without video depending on how you feel, and indulge in online games.

Watch “Leave It To Beaver” and “Father Knows Best”
And remember: This too shall pass.